Wednesday, November 3, 2010

My name is Lauren Lewis and I hate my life!

I love my husband. If I didn't I wouldn't have married him. Some people think if you're 17 and pregnant you don't have much of a choice. Bullshit! I married Michael because I was in love and thought playing house would be fun. In other words I was young, dumb and stupid. Instead of being supportive I wish my mother the lovely christian lady she is would have taken me to the abortion clinic or even got bootleg and beat the baby out of me, like my best friend at the time mother did to her. Nope. The christian lady that gave her life to me and God, allowed my new 18 year old husband to move in and threw me a baby shower, only to throw me another baby shower two years after that and another one a year after that. Once again, I love my husband. I love my four kids. But if I had to do this all again, I wouldn't be someone's wife. Michelle, Michaela, Madison and Morgan would not be here. And I damn sure would not be pregnant again cuz that selfish bastard wants to try for a boy. My name is Lauren Lewis and I hate my life!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Who Am I...I'm Derricka baby!

My father is a judge. My mother is a high siddity housewife. I grew up having the best. I'm 5'4, brown eyes, brown skin and plump where it counts. I stay dressed in the finest labels, who gives a shit if they are knock offs? They're mine. The Marc Jacob boots might be Marc Jacoby, but the Loui is definitely authentic. How do I know, because I have a habit that consists of getting what I want when I want it, by any means necessary. I have about $1000 in the bank, yet that other account I use is over the amount insured by the FDIC. I'll keep writing checks from it until I can't any longer. My credit is jacked up and sooner than later I'll probably get arrested for fraud. No one knows my secret, but you. So if I hear it repeated I know it was you that told, and believe me you've never seen a pittbull in a skirt until you seen my bite. Eve ain't got nothing on Derricka!